Xander and 4 others personalities are subsumed beneath a primal hyena spirit.
This isn't a magic spell though, it's spirit possession and the principal person
behind the plot is eaten alive by wild animals, getting his comeuppance.
The victims are treated sympathetically- as they should- but it's the person doing the spell you should focus on.
.
In season 2 no one talks about any horror of people's identities being subsumed by the Halloween costumes.
But people realize that Ethan Rayne- the person who caused the spell- is y'know, evil and dangerous. That is acknowledged by people; what he did was wrong.
Cordelia treats the love spell as a romantic gesture and it's thought so little of that Amy isn't even watched afterwards
Xander is punished by the narrative throughout the episode, and never messes with magic again for years.
In fact, he seems quite alarmed and objects when Willow tries a 'de-lusting spell' (without his consent) the very next year. So no, he doesn't seem chill at all with somebody messing with his brain.
So that's him, here, and Tara later.
Angel's soul? No thought is ever given to the fact Liam was not there for Angelus' crimes
All the people who inflicted the curse of Angel have long since been eaten. And those that are complicit in the present are brutally killed...by Angelus. I don't see your wider point, sorry.
The Band Candy incident where everyone is reverted to their teen selves? Merely an embarrassing loss of control
Yep, Sunnydale denial syndrome in full effect. It again establishes that the caster- Ethan Rayne- is still dangerous and evil. People are not chill with what HE DID, if they even knew, which most people didn't.
The people controlled in Gingerbread, where they're willing to burn their own children. A terrible even but we never see any existential horror
Demonic influence is, again, not a magic spell and the demons end up being killed. That's why everyone is chill after, those that DID the bad thing are dealt with.
Superstar? It gets laughed off, "I felt to tall" and he gets a minor talking to
Buffy herself is incredibly generous to Jonathan...(because of the intent of the spell and because he did 'the right thing' in the end) but he outright states that everyone else hates him (as they should) even whilst people start forgetting the effects of the spell and
why they hate him.
Everyone responsible for Dawn's creation is dead, their reason for doing something so desperate (and..kinda crappy) is busily stomping around Sunnydale making people insane. Stands to reason that the principals effected by the spell- our cast- are more concerned about that.
You seem to be making the mistake of conflate people's reactions to the effects of the spell where you should be focusing on the
person who did the spell and how they are treated by the narrative, not to mention how they are seen by the main cast as extremely suss, sometimes unhinged, occasionally inept, oft times outright evil.
And that is how it is depicted in the narrative until post-Tabula Rasa where everyone is chill with the person who cast the spell on them, the spell going wrong and them being all put in danger after.
Except Tara, who leaves. But that seems to be because Willow broke her word about not doing magic and not because of the 'playing with minds' thing.
It does not excuse what Willow did, what she tries to do and what she will do in the future. It blows my mind that you thing that they shouldn't act like she did anything wrong when its evident that she did.
In mind opioion everyone should've reacted to Willow's antics like the way they did post-Something Blue...
times ten, because of the
intent.
So again, it is a wonderment to me that Buffy was going to confide in the person whose current thing is 'manipulating emotions with magic' but whatever, clearly she's desperate and hasn't got the energy to scream at Willow that her entire state of mind at this point is her fault.