Incorrect Quotes

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Parker: Hi Buffy. Remember me?
Buffy: How could I forget? I wish you'd never existed.
Anyanka: DONE.

Next: Cordelia
 
Lindsey: Got my hand back, quit Wolfram & Hart, left LA in my dust.
Lindsey: And then I returned!
Lindsey: ...
Lindsey: Boy, am I dumb.

Next: The Annointed One
 
Amanda: Just to be clear, if I like a boy and beat him up, he'll understand I like him?
Amanda: Or is it don't beat up a boy I like?
Amanda: This is so confusing.

Next: Gorch brothers
 
Tector: If you mix human and bovine dna, what do ya get?
Lyle: Oh jeez, i don't know. Tell me.
Tector: A cowboy.
Lyle: *groan*

Next: The Master
 
Giles: So, the new locks are fitted?
Locksmith: Yep. Your apartment is all secure now. *leaves*
Giles: *locks his door*
Buffy: *walking straight in* Giles! I need help!
Giles: Why do I even bother?

Next: Owen
 
Owen: *sees girls waving*
Girl: Look, it's Owen!
*Crowd shouts his name in unison*
Owen: What's up girls?
*Owen Wilson walks by him*
Owen: 🙁


Next: Amy Madison
 
Amy: There is no Amy here. There is only... Catherine!

Next: Graham
 
Graham: You know what your problem is, Forrest?
Forrest: No, what?
Graham: You have a tragic case of UST.
Forrest: What the hell's that? Am I gonna get sick?
Graham: Stands for Unresolved Sexual Tension, dude. Sorry, there's no cure.
Graham:....
Graham: Also you're a horrific stitched together freak-of-nature now, that's also a factor.

Next: Luke & Darla
 
Luke: I am the vessel. My body is the Master's instrument.
Darla: You two have a disturbing relationship...


Next: Warren, Andrew and Jonathan
 
Andrew: Why are we all here?
Jonathan: I got offered money to come back and have my character's character assassinated.
Warren: Pretty much the same for me, too, though less extreme. What about you?
Andrew: Oh, I'm here because Tucker's actor couldn't make it back.

Next: Moloch
 
TheXandyman
TheXandyman
lol. I love the sarcasm behind this joke!
Ampata: I am kind of like a toxic relationship.
Xander: Why's that?
Ampata: I suck the life out of people.


Next: D'Hoffryn
 
D'Hoffryn: *a voice from nowhere* Willow?
Willow: Yes? Who is it?
D'Hoffryn: It's D'Hoffryn.
Willow: Oh...
D'Hoffryn: I'm having a little soiree; vengeance demons, others of a similar ilk, and I thought of you. Are you free on Saturday? It'll be fun. We'll enact vengeance on mortals, ruin the lives of a few who deserve it. Oh, and there are canapés.
Willow: *slightly panicked* I'm sorry. It's lovely for you to offer, but I have something planned.
D'Hoffryn: Ah well, never mind. Next time maybe. Toodle-pip!

Next: Larry
 
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Larry: I hate when people ask me, 'What did you do today?' Buddy listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don't KNOW!

Next: Mr. Trick
 
Mr. Trick: Some guy asked me if I was a good dancer. I told him yes. Then he said he was also a good dancer.
Lackey: And was he?
Mr. Trick: I wouldn't know. I got hungry...


Next: Vampire Willow
 
Vampire Willow: No, I am not an emo teenager. I don't care if you say you are what you eat. I only had one. Then I got bored.

Next: The Judge
 
*Bullying Prevention Day at school*
Teacher: The Judge, what would you do if one of your classmates viciously teased you again and again?
The Judge: Oh, that’s easy. I’d take a pencil out of my pencil case—
Teacher: To write something to your teacher?
The Judge: —make sure that it’s really sharp, and ram it into their eye at full tilt! My mom always says the pencil is mightier than the sword because they can’t outlaw bringing pencils to school!
Teacher: *internal screaming*

Next: Luke
 
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