Incorrect Quotes

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Cordelia: "I had to ask myself a really hard question: Who do I love the most? The person I love most is me. I love me most. Look, if I could run across the beach into my own arms, I would."

Next: Buffy
 
Buffy (browsing Giles' books: "Cooking with Magic". That sounds interesting.
Giles: Buffy, don't...
Buffy: A fake cover?
Buffy: ...
Buffy: Giles, why do you have a book on, um, adult magic under a fake cover?
Giles: ...
Buffy, reading: "To my dearest, all my love, er".
Buffy: Er? Oh, wait, E R. Who's E R...
Buffy & Giles: Oh dear lord.

Next: Lorne
 
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Lorne: *after reading a patron* sweetness, having listened to you sing i strongly recommend that you go and buy a bunch of cats.
Patron: Are you saying that i'll never find love?
Lorne: Oh, Pumpkin, no, I'm saying that your cats might do a better job at singing Madonna.

Next: Drusilla
 
Angel: What does Connor see in Cordelia?
Anya: Are you stupid or something? It's obvious. Have you seen Cordelia?
Angel: Why are you here Anya?
Anya: You hired Xander to do some work on the Hyperion. Did you forget?
Angel: That explains why Xander is here. Why are you here?
Anya: I came to watch Xander work. I enjoy watching him work.
Angel: Let me rephrase that. Why are you in the lobby listening to my private conversation instead of watching Xander work?
Anya: If you want privacy, don't stand in the lobby. And to have a conversation, you need more than one person. It wasn't a conversation until I spoke. I was heading out because we need more batteries when I heard you whining about Connor.
Angel: I do not whine! And what do you need batteries for? Xander's tools are all power tools or hand tools. And what do you mean 'we'? Xander is doing the work.
Angel: ...
Angel: Please don't answer those questions.
Anya: Are you sure? It might help you with Cordelia.
Angel: Of course I'm su...
Angel: ...
Angel: ...really?

Next: Giles
 
BelieveInFaith
BelieveInFaith
Love the unexpected pairing!
Giles: Are you sure you don't want me to carve the turkey?
Xander: Don't worry, buy guy. I got it.
Buffy: Uh, maybe you should let Giles do it.
Xander: Guys. I got it. *he starts carving* I am the turkey carving master of...uh, does the turkey usually bleed like that?
Buffy: No. But your finger does.

Next: Willow
 
Joyce Summers: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

((I swear I did the generator but... didn't she say something like this for real?))

Next: Angel
 
(It doesn't sound familiar to me but I could be wrong)

Angel: *as a puppet* I can't wait to turn back. I'm tired of all the jokes.
Wesley: Perhaps a movie will get your mind off it.
Angel: Oh, sure, what the hell?
Wesley: Fred, what was that movie you just brought?
Fred: The, umn...muppet movie.
Angel: I hate you guys...


Next: The Mayor
 
The Mayor: Let me see... meet with Scouts, check. Speak to town council about zoning permissions, check.
The Mayor: That leaves the ritual sacrifice of a demon and speak to head of Sunnydale High PTA. Oh my, I don't have enough time for both.
The Mayor: I know, I'll reschedule the PTA meeting until after graduation. That will save some time.

Next: Gwen
 
Larry: So, umn, I came out to my family about my sexuality. They seemed to take it well. Well, my grandpa was a little weird; he's old fashioned. But, I kinda' don't have to worry about him anymore.
Xander: Why's that?
Larry: I told him on the night of the full moon...


Next: Anya
 
Buffy: I don't know, Anya, I'm sick of men.
Anya: I understand perfectly. I've been sick of them for most of my life.
Buffy: I don't know what to do with my dating life.
Anya: You should date a woman.
Buffy: A woman? Why would I date a woman?
Anya: Because then you wouldn't have problems with a man.
Buffy (sarcastically): Sure... and where would I find this woman anyway?
Anya: As it happens, I'm currently available.
Buffy: Anya... are you hitting on me?
Anya: Yes. Is that so impossible to understand? You have a figure that is pleasing to the eye.
Buffy: Anya, you're a woman.
Anya: Yes. I know. We'd already established you should date a woman so you don't have problems with men. And my figure is equally as pleasing as yours. See?
Buffy: ...
Buffy (desperately): And you're a demon!
Anya: So? You've slept with two vampires. Don't you think I'm attractive?
Buffy: No! Yes! I mean... I don't know... you're confusing me now... oh god.

Next: Lilah
 
Xander: I can bring something for dinner... tonight.. at your house. What do you like? Mexican? Italian?
Natalie: Yes, Mexicans, Italians... very tasty. What are you by the way?
Xander: Me? I'm German and French. Sunnydale doesn't have a French Bistro or a German Pub for takeout though...
Natalie: Why don't you just bring yourself Xander. I'm sure I can find something to eat for dinner at my house.

Next: Molly
 
*The potentials are stood outside the door*
Molly: Do they do this a lot?
Vi: It's nothing new. I've heard they've done it before in the past.
Molly: Kennedy, check it out.
Kennedy: Huh. I wondered what all that panting and grunting was about. Good for them - it's good to work off some tension. I've been doing lot of it myself lately. Wow, they're really going at it.
Dawn: *peeks overshoulder* Buffy and Spike sparring again?


Next: Caleb
 
Holland Manners: I run this building, Lindsey. Me. Nobody else. Anything that takes place inside these four walls is within my control. Nothing here happens without my divine intervention.
Lindsey: *listens* Is that the fire alarm?
Holland Manners: No
Lindsey: Are you sure? That sounds like a fire alarm.
Holland Manners: It's a test. *Phone rings - he answers it. A few seconds pass, and he puts the phone down* Wrong number.
Lindsey: I smell something burning.
Holland Manners: Get out of my office.


Next: Harmony
 
Harmony: Don't worry, boss. I've already sent good vibes your way...they're coming. And there's nothing you can do to stop them.
Angel: This is the most threatening way I've ever been cheered up. Probably.

Next: Oz/Willow
 
Willow: It's so light out.
Oz: We talked all night.
Willow: Well, I believe a manly sized breakfast is order, don't you?
Oz: Or we could just... (he reaches for and holds her hand) sleep a little while. Whatever you want.
Willow: I'm gay.


Next: Cordelia
 
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