Incorrect Quotes

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Drusilla: *starts dancing* Ooh, there's a voice in my head. It's singing to me. It's telling me that wicked things are about to happen. Evil, nasty things. *She dances and giggles* death and destruction, ah, and carnage.
Spike: It's called death metal, Dru. And it's coming from the stereo.


Next: Buffy
 
Fred: Wesley, please hold this.
Wesley: Why am I holding this?
Fred: Don't worry, it's perfectly safe.
Wesley: Again, why am I holding this, not you, if it's safe? And, if it's safe, why are you standing way over there?
Fred: You worry too much Wesley. Have I ever let you down?
Wesley: I assume you don't want me to answer that.

Next: Giles
 
Giles: I told you before, I don't need new glasses. My eyesight is absolutely fine. Now, I'll ask you again, would you like me to make you some coffee or not?
Buffy: Yes, I would. *she stares at him* but you just put gravy in my mug...


Next: Anya
 
Anya: Do you want to play another game?
Dawn: The last time you asked, you suggested playing for money. Then you wanted to get me drunk.
Anya: Don't be silly. Xander wanted you to get drunk. I only suggested how we could do it.
Dawn: Whatever. I'm still too young.
Anya: But I told you how we could get around that.
Dawn: I don't want to get drunk.
Anya: You're okay with the gambling then?

Next: Connor
 
Fred: I don't know why some people are against keeping weapons in their homes - I mean, sure, it's a good opportunity for loonies, but it's also good to own one for self defence.
Cordelia: Do you have weapons in your home?
Fred: Sure. I sleep with a Gunn in my bed.


Next: Willow
 
Cordelia: So, I had a go at singing at a karaoke bar last night. Did you know that karaoke is Japanese for 'empty orchestra'?
Buffy: No, I did not. Did you know 'abserben katze' is German for 'dying cat'?
 
Whistler: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died.
Whistler: I will not yield.

Next: Dawn
 
Dawn: *seeing Buffy with Riley* Hey, Buffy. I've got a joke for you. What's the difference between you and me?
Buffy: What?
Dawn: I'm a mystical key who's flunking chemistry. You're a vampire slayer in a relationship that lacks chemistry.


Next: Kennedy
 
NotASlayer
NotASlayer
Far too tempted to just write a death scene!
Kennedy: *meeting a bartender who misunderstands people* Bartender, give me a vodka and two shots.
*Barman gives her a vodka, which she kicks back*
Kennedy: What about my two shots?
*The Barman cocks his gun*


Next: Oz
 
fauxindigo
fauxindigo
lol Kennedy is not that bad
Mr. Trick: My buddies and I ate a Chinese last night.
The Mayor: That sounds splendid. I love their noodles. They're to die for.
Mr. Trick: Actually, sir, it was an Asian girl I picked up from the park...


Next: Xander
 
Xander: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Willow, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Xander:
Xander: fsh

Next: Wesley
 
Joyce: Buffy, I know you snuck out of the house last night.
Dawn: *whispering* play dumb.
Buffy: Um, who's Buffy?
Dawn: Not that dumb!


Next: Buffy/Angel
 
Angel: My heart beats faster every time I see you, Buffy.
Buffy: Your heart doesn't beat at all.
Angel: It's a figure of speech, okay? Don't be so literal.

Next: Harmony
 
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