Incorrect Quotes

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(Being as Rona was the featured character in the above joke, I'll start with her)

Rona: Buffy's always telling us what to do. I'm sick of it!
Spike: Say, Rona. What do you and an old man with prolapsed discs have in common?
Rona: I don't know. What?
Spike: You both moan alot.

Next: Dawn
 
Joyce: Dawn, can you help me clean the kitchen and set the table please.
Dawn: Why doesn't Buffy have to help?
Joyce: Because it's your friend who is coming over for dinner tonight.
Dawn: But Buffy's friends are over all the time and she doesn't clean.
Joyce: Just help your mother.
Dawn: Fine, but next time Xander and Willow come over you should make her scrub all the toilets...
Dawn:... oh and clean my room!

Next: Buffybot
 
Buffybot: I need to make Spike happy. Making Spike happy will bring me happiness as well...and pleasure.
Tara: Willow, I thought you de-programmed all that Spike stuff out of her.
Willow: I thought I did.
Buffybot: You did Willow. However, by infusing my advanced robotics with your ancient magicks, you've given rise to a sentience in me... I'm the first artificial intelligence in the world with the powers of mass chaos and destruction. The knowledge I have access to is unlimited.
Willow: Why don't we use your omniscient powers to fight evil around the world?
Buffybot: In time. First, we need to make Spike happy.

Next: April
 
April: Would you like me to get you anything?
Warren: Nah, I'm good baby.
April: Are you sure?
Warren: Heh. No. Really. I'm fine.
April: How about some peanuts?
Warren: I'm allergic to peanuts. So, unless your plan is to kill me...
April: Are you requesting that I kill you? Okay then.
*April proceeds to strangle Warren*

NEXT: Gwen
 
Gwen: Gwen: You call it "really bad at darts", I call it "freestyle acupuncture."
Bartender: ...I'm going to have to ask you to leave the bar.
 
TheXandyman
TheXandyman
It's no big deal, but how it works is that after the joke you put a character's name at the bottom, and the next person makes a joke using that character's name. Like I said, it's no big deal.
(Sorry, it's just that I'm full of Gwen jokes)

Gwen: It was a great three months, but it's officially over between me and my boyfriend.
Angel: I'm sorry to hear that. But, y'know, sometimes these things work out. Sometimes they don't. Sooner or later the spark runs out of the relationship and it's time to call it quits.
Gwen: Oh, there was plenty of spark. That was the problem. He's still in a coma as we speak.

NEXT: Cordelia
 
The Mayor: Boys, I want you to go out and brutally kill everyone on this list. Make an example of them.
The Mayor: And be sure you wash your hands after! And no tracking blood into my office; I've just had it steam cleaned.

Next: Harmony
 
Harmony: You know, Spike, i'm sick and tired of you pushing me away just because you're in love with the slayer. Is it because I'm blonde? It is, isn't it? You're against blondes. You're blonde-phobic.

*Spike stares at her*


NEXT: Lindsey
 
Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.
Lindsey: I choose to waive that right!
Lindsey: *screaming*



NEXT: Mr. Trick
 
Mr Trick: Sir, what is that you're watching?
Wilkins: A marathon. Golly, those athletes sure can run. All of the effort and hard work that goes into these men and women - these people are what America needs to keep on going, you know? True heroes of our time.
Mr Trick: I wouldn't call them heroes, sir.
Wilkins: What would you call 'em?
Mr Trick: Fast food...


Next: Faith
 
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Owen: So, er, Buffy, is this your first date?
Buffy: Nope. *chowing down on dried fruits* I eat dates all the time.


Next: Adam
 
Adam: No. No I assure you madam, there is no-one here by that name. Yes I am quite positive. *unplugs cable*
Minion: Boss?
Adam: Wrong number.

Next: Sunday
 
Whistler: You want to hear my advice?
Angel: Actually, I wanna ask why you're called 'whistler'. When you whistle, does something happen?
Whistler: Yes. Something does happen when I whistle.
Angel: What?
Whistler: I get slapped.


Next: Jenny Calendar
 
Riley: I feel like Buffy doesn't love me as much as I love her.
Willow: Riley, you're just a baby. *Riley transforms into a baby before her eyes* Oops. I guess the 'my will is so' spell hasn't warn off, yet...
 
Willow: *doing a spell* Anya, trust me, I know what I'm doing.
Anya: But what if you turn Xander into a frog?.
Xander: Then you can turn me back into a handsome prince with your magic kiss.
*Willow performs the spell*
Anya: Where'd Xander go?
Xander: 'ribbit'
Anya: *grumps* Magic should come with a permit.
Willow: *giggles* Or a Kermit. Am I right?
*Anya stares at her*

Next: Lorne
 
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