Incorrect Quotes

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DARLA: What a nice quiet alley to walk down, only nice folk go this way.
ANGEL: I did say that I couldn't wait to be a vampire, but it was odd that no one mentioned about my having a crush on Darla.
DARLA: I was feeling a bit out of it that day, I knew I couldn't trust anyone who wanted a silly name like that, if I'd waited a bit I could've made out with William. A tryst with Spike and Dru might have been fun.

And who is next? Fun with Luke!
 
Luke: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU!
The Master: Okay, can you sweep the floor?
Luke: *disappears*

Next: Cordelia
 
Cordelia: Hey, Buffy. I see you've been fighting demons again - you're all overed with gross cuts.
Buffy: Yeah. When I looked at them in the mirror this morning, they reminded me of you.
Cordelia: How can a cut remind you of me?
Buffy: They're thin, painful and superficial.

Next: Warren
 
Warren: What did you do with Jonathan's body?
 Andrew: What didn’t I do with the body?
Warren: ...
Andrew: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

Next: Oz.
 
Buffy: Is… everything okay here?
 Oz, the building on fire around him: We're good.

Next: Wesley
 
WESLEY: Cordelia, have you found any information on our local warlock?
CORDELIA: Oh, like you wouldn't believe. I've been researching for ours. Warlocks. Dragons. Lethifolds. Chimaeras. You name it. I'm your girl.
WESLEY: Cordelia...*grabs the book*...this is a 'Harry Potter' novel.

Next: Fred
 
Fred: I’ve been dropping him the most insanely obvious hints for like a month now. No response.
Wesley: Wow. He sounds stupid.
Fred: But he's not. He's really smart actually. Just dense.
Wesley: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Fred: I guess you’re right. Hey Wesley, I love you.
Wesley: See! Just say that!
Fred: Holy-
Wesley: If that flies over his head then, sorry Fred, but he's too dumb for you.
Fred: Wesley.

Next: Buffy
 
NotASlayer
NotASlayer
Having just watched Smile Time, really not that inaccurate...
BUFFY: *sees Willow with her leg bandaged* Oh, my god! Willow! What happened to your leg?
WILLOW: Tara and I met a demon who's special ability was misunderstanding what people say.
BUFFY: Huh? That's not a very interesting ability.
TARA: We took him out fighting with us. We wanted to show him how a crossbow worked.
BUFFY: Okay, but how did you get the leg injury?
TARA: I told him to fire at will.

NEXT: Anya
 
Giles: We need to tie him up.
Anya: Xander's good with knots.
Anya: Or I have some handcuffs you can borrow.
Anya: They're fur-lined. The ordinary metal ones chafe unpleasantly.
Anya: Remember, you can't keep them. I will want them back.
Buffy: How...
Buffy: What...
Buffy: Why...
Giles: Buffy, I beg of you, please don't finish any of those questions.

Altering The Zeppo slightly.

Buffy: What do we do with the trio here? Should we burn them?
Willow: I brought marshmallows. (everyone but Anya gives her a look)
Anya: I think smoke from burning demons would spoil the flavour of the marshmallows. Though we won't know for sure until you try.

Next: Tara
 
TARA: Remember when the whole town was singing? Who do you guys think was the best singer?
BUFFY: It was you, definately. Right, guys?
*the others mutter in agreement*
XANDER: Very angel-like
ANGEL: You guys really think I can sing?
*they all stare at him*

Next: Glory
 
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GLORY: Is my slayer to far gone to tell?
MINION: You have a slayer?
GLORY: I am a God I have everyone!
GILES: Oh, so my slayer is to far gone to tell.

Next: Andrew
 
*Halfrek and Anya are in a diner eating sandwiches*

Halfrek: You know the last time I was here, one of the staff was off sick, so they asked me help out in the kitchen. That same day this woman comes in and says that she wish I make her husband a sandwich - of course, I thought it was a vengeance request; next thing I know I have her coming into the restaurant and telling me that her husband has gone missing. A...honey, are you full?

Anya: *looks worriedly at her sandwich* 'My sandwich tastes funny...'


Next: Andrew
 
*Halfrek and Anya are in a diner eating sandwiches*

Halfrek: You know the last time I was here, one of the staff was off sick, so they asked me help out in the kitchen. That same day this woman comes in and says that she wish I make her husband a sandwich - of course, I thought it was a vengeance request; next thing I know I have her coming into the restaurant and telling me that her husband has gone missing. A...honey, are you full?

Anya: *looks worriedly at her sandwich* 'My sandwich tastes funny...'


Next: Andrew

Andrew: Potential slayers everywhere! All these girls in this house are driving me crazy!
Buffy: Maybe you should move out of this house Andrew.
Xander: I know how it is, but don't let the girls mess with your head.
Andrew: I'm not letting them mess with my anything Harris.

Next: KATHY
 
KATHY: Hello, stranger. I'm going to be your new roommate.
BUFFY: Ookay. One question, are you a demon?
KATHY: No. Well, okay, yes. I am. But the whole sucking souls thing is just so that I can remain in this dimension without my family finding me, but you're cool with that, right?
BUFFY: Yeah, that's okay. As long as you don't go sucking my soul, we'll get along fine.
KATHY: Fair enough. Oh, and by the way, I borrowed your gucci shoes, and accidentally scuffed them. But I'm sure by comparison-'
BUFFY: You are so dead...

NEXT: Lorne
 
Lorne: Angel, cupcake, I've got a letter from Barry Manilow.
Angel: What does it say?
Lorne: Well, you might need Gunn to explain it properly, but it looks to be a cease and desist stopping you from ever singing one of his songs again.
Angel: Has he signed it? I don't have his autograph.

Next: Snyder
 
Snyder: *brings a basket of shopping to a till*
Cashier: Sorry, sir. This till is closed.
Snyder: But all the other tills are full, and I need to pay.
Cashier: Of course, sir. *hands Snyder a toupee*

Next: Illyria
 
Angel: You're a loose cannon, Spike.
Spike: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
Wesley: I think you play by your own rules.
Gunn: No, he just thinks rules were made to be broken.
Angel: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
Spike: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Illyria is a loose cannon.
Illyria: *smashes a chair*

Next: Willow
 
Willow: Kennedy, What do you think you're doing? I think you need to get out of my bed and onto the floor. You can use a sleeping bag like the other girls are doing downstairs.
Kennedy: I think you need to make me. She doesn't move from the bed
Willow: You think being a brat is cute, huh? You don't want to be told what to do, you need to be made to do it... Because I know a lot of spells little Kennedy, I can make you do anything I want at the drop of a hat. So just try me...and find out.

Next: Rona
 
Miss Muffet
Miss Muffet
If only, lol
Rona: Do you ever think? Because I do not.
Rona: Still not over how yesterday when my flight landed, our pilot said we arrived 50 minutes early because they took some "shortcuts".
Rona: Excuse me, we were in the sky, what do you mean???
 
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