Hayden Panettiere has died at 36

[hoponlilmama]

Is it me or do many actors who started as children suffer serious problems? If so, it doesn't look like being such is really a good thing for children.

Not just you, it seems to be a problem and there's a long list of child stars who either died young, or experienced issues throughout their lives.

So many sad stories.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

Not just you, it seems to be a problem and there's a long list of child stars who either died young, or experienced issues throughout their lives.

So many sad stories.

It seems like growing up in the industry is really hard on children. There are few who get out unscathed...

Speaking of, have you read Drew Barrymore's book Little Girl Lost? She wrote it when she was only fifteen. It's heartbreaking, but a very interesting example of how much a child star can suffer in the industry.

 

[NotASlayer]

It seems like growing up in the industry is really hard on children. There are few who get out unscathed...

The ones who do seem to be the ones who take a break to have a proper life or the ones who just get out completely.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

The ones who do seem to be the ones who take a break to have a proper life or the ones who just get out completely.

Hilary Duff is a great example of this. She left the industry for 10 years to have a family. Now, she's back and better than ever. She released a new album that went gold and just finished a sold out tour.

 

[DeepBlueJoy]

Hilary Duff is a great example of this. She left the industry for 10 years to have a family. Now, she's back and better than ever. She released a new album that went gold and just finished a sold out tour.

I think our Sarah also "took it slow" - she took a break to have a life. It may mean she doesn't have a mega career but she is alive and seems to be happy and sane.

When Buffy stopped being healthy for her, she quit. Very smart. As i recall, she had to cut ties with her dad. Sounds like there could have been a lot of nasty family drama (and may well have had some) but she did not embrace the bad chaos magic.

Yes, fame is very hard on innocents. And naive, damaged people flame out spectacularly and the ghouls who get off on using life disaster as entertainment love to exploit and destroy with severe prejudice so they can make money.

It does not help that some of those kids were screaming for attention before they got famous. A lot of people who are attracted to becoming performers are deeply needy of attention and adulation long before fame complicates their lives. "Showbiz parents" tend to complicate things.

I often wonder if people like Nick might have built/rebuilt their lives without the menace of public emotional evisceration.

I think we hear mostly about the nutcake drama and not a lot about people who keep their heads down and live gently.

The hollyweird media machine likes insanity even if the have to generate it. Drama sells. Bleeding drama sells more and the media will create and pressure it into being as ugly as possible.

 

[NotASlayer]

It does not help that some of those kids were screaming for attention before they got famous. A lot of people who are attracted to becoming performers are deeply needy of attention and adulation long before fame complicates their lives. "Showbiz parents" tend to complicate things.

I do wonder how much these children would have wanted to be famous if they weren't pushed into it by parents. Yes, society now tends to reward fame so that the objective is to be famous. Not famous for something, just famous. Both Drew Barrymore and Lindsay Lohan's parents bore some responsibility for their teenage self-destruction; fortunately, both seem to have recovered.

 

[DeepBlueJoy]

I do wonder how much these children would have wanted to be famous if they weren't pushed into it by parents. Yes, society now tends to reward fame so that the objective is to be famous. Not famous for something, just famous. Both Drew Barrymore and Lindsay Lohan's parents bore some responsibility for their teenage self-destruction; fortunately, both seem to have recovered.

@NotASlayer - you are 100% right, i believe. Funny thing, those same parents who push and pressure their kids to "succeed" often are neglectful and abusive - often driven parents withhold love and approval - and this forces the child to try to earn it by pleasing their narcissist (sometimes competitive and jealous) parent - and eventually the child attempts to fill the parent shaped hole with adulation and 'love' from the public.

Since that 'love' is by definition brittle, conditional and transient, the child soon finds themselves exposed and twisting *and alone* without a guide or protector in a very dangerous world. It is not a recipe for wholesome goodness.

Of course, predators in the industry (like Joss) are laying in wait to use and control these kids - in myriad ways.

 

[AlphaFoxtrot]

It's an open secret that Hollywood has a problem with the sexual abuse of both child actors and young women, and the question becomes, how much of that is a feature or a bug?

 

[DeepBlueJoy]

It's an open secret that Hollywood has a problem with the sexual abuse of both child actors and young women, and the question becomes, how much of that is a feature or a bug?

It is not just women. Men just are socialized to hide it. It has become easier to talk about (particularly for women) but so much of what is mistaken for manhood is bound up in being powerful; therefore many men fear revealing any violation.

Not all abuse is sexual. Many abusers get off on power and are good at ransoming careers and keeping of "secrets" ro control vulnerable young performers. Sex is just one aspect. Some are on the receiving end of a full court press of abuse.

Physical, financial, emotional, sexual, mental, even time stress and exhausion. Body image shaming, "slut" shaming. It never ends. The pressure to keep secrets or lose one's career.

@AlphaFoxtrotI It is always a bug for the recipient of the abuse.

Yes, some of the pipeline of abuse is purpose built to perpetuate itself. Probably the worst destroyed are those we never hear of - those who are desperate for success and vulnerable to the point they are basically chum in the water. They simply dont make it. It is no news that by far the majority of young hopefuls vanish without a trace. No one will ever count them amongst the victims because they have no voice. Also not considered are those that flame out and misbehave badly. Predators are good at tarring and feathering victims and turning them out broken and messed up.

I wonder how much Joss's little hero/avatar, Nick Brendon ended up masticated by their interactions. He started out without any of the confidence of a James Marsters. He did not attend Julliard.

If James was shoved against a wall by Joss, who knows what Nick went thru to prove his gratitude for his one big 'chance'. Victims are often forever loyal to their abusers. And victims are often very unsympathetic when they fall apart because they have no center left intact. More people probably hate Nick than hate Joss, even though I think Joss is way more malevolent . I wonder how many careers Joss tanked. How many lives he trashed and how many reputations for "difficult" he simply made up. No one says Nick was blameless for his actions. I just dont think he had a lot of a chance not to get destroyed. His weight yo-yo during the series showed he was struggling. Even some of what he was given to play probably fed his insecurities

 

[November]

I hate how everyone ignores the psych meds in these things. I have lost dozens of friends from complications from psych meds. But we're not allowed to say it cos hating what the meds do to some of us, is not allowed in current society. They are no better than street drugs but far easier to access and far easier to accidently misuse. Half the time in the deaths that I personally know of, the meds were used as prescribed, they were just prescribed at ridiculous doses and no wonder they died. Anyway, sad day. Hope her daughter has a better chance in life.

 

[Ethan Reigns]

Does anyone actually have autopsy results? There has been a lot of speculation about drugs but lots of people take drugs and don't die. Everyone is in a rush to assume what actually killed her but there are a lot of suspicious deaths like Whitney Houston or Michael Jackson or even going back to Marilyn Monroe that many of us suspect are homicides. Maybe she was holding on to the equivalent of the Epstein files. What do we really know?

 

[Kendar]

Is it me or do many actors who started as children suffer serious problems? If so, it doesn't look like being such is really a good thing for children.

It's an open secret that Hollywood has a problem with the sexual abuse of both child actors and young women, and the question becomes, how much of that is a feature or a bug?

Yeah, plenty of child actors have issues when they get older, both internal and external.

Hayden had her drug troubles. So did Drew Barrymore and Todd Bridges. Wil Wheaton was badly financially exploited by parents as are many others.

And good grief is the actual abuse an issue. After Corey Haim's suicide the abuse to him and Corey Feldman became more widely known, with numerous people saying that at parties the two were basically passed around like party favors.

 

[Taake]

When I saw this, I literally went ”WHAT?”
It just didn’t make sense. Still doesn’t. I’ll probably always see her as Coach’s daughter in Remember the Titans

Very sad.

 

[DeepBlueJoy]

I hate how everyone ignores the psych meds in these things. I have lost dozens of friends from complications from psych meds. But we're not allowed to say it cos hating what the meds do to some of us, is not allowed in current society. They are no better than street drugs but far easier to access and far easier to accidently misuse. Half the time in the deaths that I personally know of, the meds were used as prescribed, they were just prescribed at ridiculous doses and no wonder they died. Anyway, sad day. Hope her daughter has a better chance in life.

You're right. When we put substances into our bodies, chemical mishaps are always possible... even when we use them correctly. Also, psych drugs don't always cause predictable moods... sometimes suicide can actually be an 'adverse reaction' of a medication taken as prescribed. Life is complicated. I think people speculate about 'drugs' as in 'of abuse' because she a) had a history of drug problems and mental health issues b) who appears to have been at the scene. But no one knows, and if the family decide to be private, we may never know. I think all of us are brokenhearted that a young, talented person with a future and a child to raise is gone way before her time. I do hope that sane people will take better care of that child of hers. Hayden's journey is over, regardless of the cause.

Blue

 

[XanderesqueMan]

I was far from a super-fan, but I thought she was a talented enough actress, and I'm sorry to hear of anyone dying so young, especially anyone with a child.

I hate how everyone ignores the psych meds in these things. I have lost dozens of friends from complications from psych meds. But we're not allowed to say it cos hating what the meds do to some of us, is not allowed in current society. They are no better than street drugs but far easier to access and far easier to accidently misuse. Half the time in the deaths that I personally know of, the meds were used as prescribed, they were just prescribed at ridiculous doses and no wonder they died. Anyway, sad day. Hope her daughter has a better chance in life.

That's fair, 'Ember. We do have a problem with overmedication in the West. Which is not to say that many of these medications can't help people because they can (and do.) The problem is the quickness to default to medication and the dosages provided in some cases, which go beyond what they should, just looking to stamp out symptoms instead of dealing with the underlying issues. Everyone is different, and not only should we not default to medicating, but we should also monitor those who are taking medications far more closely for potential side effects.

... no one knows, and if the family decide to be private, we may never know. I think all of us are brokenhearted that a young, talented person with a future and a child to raise is gone way before her time. I do hope that sane people will take better care of that child of hers. Hayden's journey is over, regardless of the cause.

I couldn't have said it better myself. With more words, yes. But not better.

It is not just women. Men just are socialized to hide it. It has become easier to talk about (particularly for women) but so much of what is mistaken for manhood is bound up in being powerful; therefore many men fear revealing any violation.

Thank you for saying this, Blue. It's easy to sympathize with women (and I do) who have been mistreated in the smallest of ways because we are socialized to protect them and to assume their innocence, yet men continue to be overlooked despite statistics indicating that, when we take into account the different labels applied to male assault (it wasn't even a crime under the law until the 90s and is still labeled as something else in many jurisdictions) and the number of activities that are not assault, which get absorbed into female statistics (such as threats), not to mention that men are far less likely to report their abuse, the per capita rates of abuse are close to identical (for instance, 2012 data from the CDC shows 1.715 million reported being "made to penetrate" another person in the preceding 12 months, similar to the 1.473 million assault reports from women in the same period.)

And it's easy to just say that men socialize other men to not seek help, but it's not the case that only one gender is guilty of this. It is a huge problem that both men and women downplay the assault of men, even mocking it on some occasions, that men are either made to feel pathetic for their victimization, laughed at, dismissed as not having actually been assaulted (men can't be, don't you know), told they should be grateful (for instance, when assaulted by attractive teachers, which happens far more than male teachers with female students, not that you'd know it from the media), or even punished by the law for being victims (such as Shane Seyer, forced to pay child support to his abuser, Colleen Hermesmann, even though their interactions happened when Seyer was 13), despite psychological profiling showing that assault can actually be more damaging to male psychology, not less (due to not just social exposure, but also biological leanings.)

Not to hijack the thread. I just wanted to say thanks for not ignoring that both genders receive horrible treatment from their fellow humans and both should be acknowledged in conversations about the topic.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

I just have to say, I'm loving this respectful discussion we are having - not only about Hayden, but the overlying issues - drug abuse, abuse, pressures of child fame - why she's no longer with us.

There are no updates this week, but here's a New York Times opinion piece worth reading.

"The qualities that make most child performers successful are the same ones that leave us vulnerable to exploitation: a desire to please, a desire for positive attention and, crucially, a desire to be thought of as mature beyond one’s years..."

 

[XanderesqueMan]

I just have to say, I'm loving this respectful discussion we are having - not only about Hayden, but the overlying issues - drug abuse, abuse, pressures of child fame - why she's no longer with us.

I second this, Joan. These can be sensitive topics, and people can be quick to be defensive, or to rely on overgeneralizations instead of really thinking (because they are such harsh topics) about the full picture, so it's nice to see a calm, respectful, and insightful conversation (especially with how hostile things can be in this day and age.)

 

[NotASlayer]

@Joan the Vampire Slayer That's a valid take I think; children are considered to be too young to give consent or obtain various items, and fame can be at least as destructive as any of those.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

Well, not sure how accurate this is, but if it's true, I'm sad but not surprised. Fentanyl is a real issue in this country, I personally have lost several friends to accidental overdoes of it.

Hayden Panettiere Died From Fentanyl-Laced Oxy, Sources