Does Giles hate Xander?

[Balthazer]

Does Giles hate Xander?!

He seems to snap at him constantly in earlier seasons. He even kicks him out of the room a couple of times and seems to just hold him in utter contempt. Willows messy spells are met with little more than an "oopsie!" (Until season 6) Even Cordelia can be outright horrible and get less of a telling off.

When he left for England in season 6 he had little to say to him despite them being "in it" together from the beginning. Then Xander got married he didn't even bother to attend!?

It seems like Giles has a strong connection with all the other scoobies, even Anya! Yet Xander and him never seem to gel.

I feel sad for Xander because he never snaps back at Giles - just takes it and he has more reason than ANYONE to look for a father figure.

 

[Bop]

I wouldn't say hate but I agree that Giles didn't seem particularly fond of Xander. I think it's because Giles wasn't responsible as a young person so he's projecting that onto Xander and it manifests as a dislike for him. For example in The Pack when Buffy's trying to flag up that Xander's acting out of character being a bully and aggressive Giles responds with 'sounds like a teenage boy'.

 

[Balthazer]

I wouldn't say hate but I agree that Giles didn't seem particularly fond of Xander. I think it's because Giles wasn't responsible as a young person so he's projecting that onto Xander and it manifests as a dislike for him. For example in The Pack when Buffy's trying to flag up that Xander's acting out of character being a bully and aggressive Giles responds with 'sounds like a teenage boy'.

I would have thought he would cut him some slack because 'Ripper' was such a sod! He could have guided him like he guided literally everyone else.

He must be projecting like you say

 

[Plasma]

I don’t think he hates him, but more that he detests ineptitude. Xander has nothing to offer the group aside from jokes and pop culture references in the early seasons. His only real “wow Xander saved the world” moments are Zeppo, which no one even knew about, and The Yellow Crayon, which everyone was shocked by.

I think he just felt that Xander was wasting resources and time, but didn’t realize how much Xander actually offered the group. Most of the time Xander is useful, it is something Giles was unaware of, like the rocket launcher in S2.

Also: welcome to the BuffyBoards 🙂

 

[thrasherpix]

While I didn't see any fuzzy bond between them, and it could be he's being passive aggressive, er British polite, he doesn't seem to hate him to me (despite being so fast to agree with Xander that Willow was far better than him when they thought Willow was a vampire).

He keeps Xander secret about recall of possession (Hyena Xander). He seemed supportive of Xander in getting married even if he didn't show up. The pair seemed to get along well enough in season 4...and if anything, Xander snarked more at Giles than the other way around, though Giles snarked at many others more (but then maybe he expected less of Xander).

When I think hate, I think of how he was to Ethan. He was much more cold to Spike through season 5 even if he tolerated him to a point, treating Xander better than that (but again, no warm fuzzies toward Xander as he normally had for Buffy and Willow).

I recall that he did throw Xander out of the library, but there were understanding reasons to, and it wasn't like "and never return." One of those was also jealousy over Jenny's attraction to him (jealousy drives everyone insane in the Buffyverse) in addition to what at least seemed like concern for his safety. He's said and done harsher things to Buffy, even if her normally did so because he thought it would make her better, and keep her alive, but that doesn't negate all the kindly things he's done and said.

I think it's also worth noting that both Buffy and Willow were much more friendly to Giles (along with some defiance and a few wry observations, like how Giles would make that clucking sound when annoyed as I think Willow put it, being said when they didn't know he was around) than Xander was, which would also make a difference. Plus...in some ways, girls just get away with a lot more than guys, and to treat Xander as he would Willow (though I think he bossed around Willow more than Xander, but was also more receptive to her suggestions) would seem to degrade him, at least in the mind of someone of Gile's generation.

 

[TamsinValencia]

He doesn't hate Xander but perhaps dislikes him but not to the extent of hate. Reflecting how a lot of the fandom feel about him, a significant amount do probably outright hate him though.

 

[thetopher]

Man, everyone forgets that Giles laughed at Xander's 'moon pie' joke in S2; that was a nice moment.

But no, I never got 'hate' from Giles' end, just general bemusement due to generational gap and Xander's personality.

Giles is there to help Buffy, that's his job, so he has a connection to her in the form of a 'common goal' that they can work towards (in theory). So he knows, somewhat, how to deal with Buffy; she is the slayer, a teen, he may've been given a file/dossier/briefing on Buffy's situation and home life which would make sense given that he was at the school waiting for her, but overall he knows his role and what their relationship should be.

As to Willow; she is clearly smart, bookish and interested in knowledge and has enthusiasm and useful skills; first with computers (which is a skill that mystifies Giles) and then with the magicks. So Giles can obviously connect with Willow on some level, or at least rationalize that she helps the overall mission; so she can hang around, no problem.

But Xander brings nothing obvious to the table; he projects that goofy slacker class clown image; he's not academic or has any special skills. He just sort of 'comes' with Willow as part of her package. Giles must put up with his 'attempts' at humour (Xander's jokes are a far cry from Giles' dry English wit) pop culture references and general time-suck.

It's clear to see that Giles doesn't see the 'point' of Xander, and for the first 3 years Giles is there to do a very specific job, so there's no reason for him to have a sudden interest in Xander's home life or his apparent need for a father figure. On the flip side I saw no real evidence that Xander was desperate for Giles approval at any point. Willow is a massive Giles fan in the early years, clearly, and Buffy is often conflicted, so having somebody there being pretty neutral makes sense; Xander is Buffy's 'heart' after all, so he should reflect that.


Having said all that from S4 Giles and Xander do become closer and bond a little in their rather pathetic directionless 'post-highschool' phase. Giles even hires Xander to help him stack his shelves at one point, buys his cruddy candy bars and, basically, have his home open to the guyt whenever he feels like popping over to air his relationship woes with Anya; hardly 'hate'.

In Season 5 both characters refocus and thrive; Giles becomes a business owner and begins to re-watch Buffy (possibly find a better phrasing for that) and Xander gets a permanent construction job and moves into his own place. For his part Giles seems somewhat impressed with Xander's newfound aldult-ness and hires him to fix up the shop when needed.

Obviously their burgeoning, subtly growing friendship is almost entirely jettisoned in S6 for a variety of reasons, not just ASH's desire to leave, but even then he does have a nice little chat with Xander after the latter proposes to Anya.

Overall Giles didn't understand Xander or his utility and found him off-putting from time-to-time given his attitude but I never saw hate or anger or even contempt; just some frustration and impatience. And anger when Xander truly messed up- like in BB&B or when wolf-Oz got out of his cage.

 

[Balthazer]

Thanks for all your replies guys. I'm doing a rewatch now and just made it to S6. I am definitely reminded of some more subtle softer signs of friendship between them in seasons 4-6. When i wrote the initial post i was watching season 2 and 3, where Giles is a lot harsher to Xander and didnt consider a lot of the brilliant points you all made.

Overall - I think time did play a big factor in their friendship. With Xander needing to prove himself to Giles as a useful member of the group and also growing out of the unlucky adolescent skirmishes he kept landing himself in that irritated Giles.

I am still dissapointed Giles didn't attend his wedding! I wish they gave an on screen excuse that would pacify my upset over this! Couldn't they have said he was visiting his mothers death bed or something! I felt sad that Xander/Willow/Buffys positive father figure like role model didnt show for this big moment in his life. I felt like he let them all down here and was potentially the only one who could have ran after Anya and stopped her becoming a vengence demon again.

 

[TheAnnoyingOne]

I think he does like Xander but just sees him as the troublemaker among his "children", the least serious one who's not cautious enough about what he says or does. He's annoyed by his antics but hate is too strong a word. I'd say it's more a lack of respect than a lack of affection on Giles' part.

But I feel like the moment he stopped Dark Willow and saved the world was pivotal in regard to how Giles views him. I think he's got a newfound respect for him after that.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

I think Giles may dislike Xander in the beginning before he matures. But I don't think this is personal; I think Giles just dislikes teenage boys in general.

 

[Angelkiss]

I don't think Giles hates Xander, I think he's just miffed at him most of the time for what he sees Xander not taking demons and the Hellmouth more seriously. Xander making, jokes or comments at inappropriate times.Xander has been there and stepped up for Buffy, Giles just wasn't around to see the moments and times.I think there is a mutual respect and liking for Xander by Giles, and Giles by Xander.

 

[Tome]

No, he doesn't hate Xander.

I remember creating a thread about this years ago. I argued that the writers simply chose not to spend as much time on that particular relationship. They could have, but they chose not to. Aside from a lack of time, I think one of the main reasons is that if they had played the father/son dynamic more, it could have 'taken away' from Giles and Buffy's parent/child dynamic... made it less special. Buffy was the protagonist after all, not Xander.

With that said, I also agree with some of what the others have said, such as the conflicting personalities between the two characters and the apparent lack of useful skills on Xander's part.

 

[famicommander]

Xander needs someone to be harsh on him. His only real combat assets are above average size and strength for a human. He's got no magical affinity, he has no super powers, he is not a martial artist, he's not particularly skilled with any weapons, he doesn't have a ton of experience or specified knowledge. But he still wades into conflicts far above his head and gets involved on the front line. Xander is the character that can be afforded the least amount of slack. He is in more danger than anybody else because he tends to act on emotion and throw himself into the fire without the capability the other characters have. Buffy, Angel, Willow (S3 onwards), Tara, Faith, Spike, Gunn, Wesley, Connor, Giles, Wood... any one of these characters would absolutely annihilate Xander in a one on one situation but Xander still fights shoulder to shoulder with them.

 

[TamsinValencia]

Xander is like Giles' annoying son.

 

[Killjoy]

Xander was very brave person....but he could be a very annoying one also. I think Giles does care for Xander but sadly Xander can push his buttons by being a bit off the wall in serious situations.

 

[KaitKat]

I would have thought he would cut him some slack because 'Ripper' was such a sod! He could have guided him like he guided literally everyone else.

He must be projecting like you say

He didn’t really guide anyone else except Buffy. I do think he was harder on Xander than the others and had some fondness for Willow but the most guiding he did to anyone else was trying to hide magic books from Willow that she shouldn’t have been messing with. He barely did anything with Faith who was his actual charge for a time. I love Giles but he has tunnel vision when it comes to Buffy.

 

[hoponlilmama]

He didn’t really guide anyone else except Buffy. I do think he was harder on Xander than the others and had some fondness for Willow but the most guiding he did to anyone else was trying to hide magic books from Willow that she shouldn’t have been messing with. He barely did anything with Faith who was his actual charge for a time. I love Giles but he has tunnel vision when it comes to Buffy.

I definitely think Willow saw him as a father-figure of sorts.

It at times looked like Giles merely tolerated Xander 🤣. It did seem strange that Giles would also miss Xander's wedding. Unfortunately, because the focus is on Buff, we don't see too much of a relationship between the two.

Quietly though, I'm sure Xander probably looked to Giles as some kind of positive influence, considering his home life and abusive parent. With Giles there was some stability for Xander.

 

[KaitKat]

I definitely think Willow saw him as a father-figure of sorts.

It at times looked like Giles merely tolerated Xander 🤣. It did seem strange that Giles would also miss Xander's wedding. Unfortunately, because the focus is on Buff, we don't see too much of a relationship between the two.

Quietly though, I'm sure Xander probably looked to Giles as some kind of positive influence, considering his home life and abusive parent. With Giles there was some stability for Xander.

Willow also had a crush on Giles. I think it’s really unfortunate because Willow, Xander, and Faith have absentee to outright abusive parents and could have done with a steady adult.

I always cite Beauty and the Beasts in regards to Giles being harsh with Xander. He falls asleep and Giles is pissed then Buffy does it and Giles thinks it’s adorable. I can’t help but feel a little bad for him.

 

[Agent Z]

I don’t think he hates him, but more that he detests ineptitude. Xander has nothing to offer the group aside from jokes and pop culture references in the early seasons. His only real “wow Xander saved the world” moments are Zeppo, which no one even knew about, and The Yellow Crayon, which everyone was shocked by.

Would him reviving Buffy with CPR in the first season also count?

 

[ILLYRIAN]

I've let this go for so long but enough is enough, of course Giles does not hate Xander, though admittedly his response might be more like Xander, who?