Love this episode, atlthough for me it's one of the saddest. It's about a group of people who all want what they can't have.
I used to hate that the loan shark was a shark, it used to make me cringe, but now I can smile at the chutzpah of it (a word the shark uses to describe Spike's over-confidence) Straight away we're into Buffy and Spike wanting what they cannot have, Spike wants to discuss their 'relationship' and Buffy wishes she could just stop saving Spikes life 🙂
Willow is wallowing in self-pity and offers to do a spell to make things better. It always seemed odd to me that this is were Tara chose to tell Willow she knows about the memory spell. Is this the day ater OMWF, or later in the same week? Why didn't Tara talk to Willow straight away about it especially because it upset her so much?
Their conversation is phrased very much like I'd imagine Spike and Buffy's would have been in Seeing Red if they'd discussed it and Spike hadn't already realised the enormity of what he'd done, unlike Willow who seems to have very little concept of how she's hurt Tara.
'How could you violate me?'
'Violate you? I didn't mean anything like that. I just wanted us not to fight anymore. I love you'
Of course Willow promises to go a week without magic. Just liked Dawn's promise in Baragining, to do better and be better, it really doesn't amount to much. There is a massive disjoint between what people are saying and what they are doing. At the start of this episode Buffy declaims 'I will never kiss you Spike, never touch you, ever ever again' . . . 🙂
Giles is leaving. His argument is completely logical, as Buffy has already proven she cannot be strong and make decisions without relying on him. He needs her to trust herself now more than ever and she won't with him there. I don't think it's the right decison, but I understand why Giles made it.
Willow's spell kicks in and these characters are left with no memory and through natural instinct and observation have to discover who they really are. But of course instead they only find out who they wish they were.
Buffy and Dawn want to be sisters, the find each other pretty quickly. Buffy becomes the natural leader and everyone seems happy to follow. Once again when Buffy fights herself free of a vampire, she doesn't stake him, but rather rushes to save Spike who is also being attacked. This is a reflection of what she wishes she could change in real-life, but we see that it's something she just cannot help doing even when she isn't really Buffy.
Willow and Tara are drawn to each other, there is affection and attraction there instinctively, they have to be together even if they don't know who they or the other is. Which of course makes their whole real world problems seems so much harsher. If Willow could just be Willow and not so reliant on magic, they'd make it 🙁
Xander without memory is still Xander. He gets scared and aggressive, he lacks confidence with girls, believing Willow must be his brother's girl because she wouldn't be with him. But even though he's terrified, he still stands and fights and protects the others, which makes him incredibly brave.
My favourite pairing that never happend, Giles and Anya are great together. They are perhaps only together through circumstance, but it works. I like that Giles scoffs at magic and the supernatural, being naturally stuffy and British 🙂
Spike without a memory builds a whole world of 'normal' for himself. He doesn't 'feel' the demon inside him at all, or if he does, he doesn't know what it is. He sees Giles as his father, and he wishes he'd had more affection from him. He works well with 'Joan' and is happy to follow her and when she tells him he's a vampire, he builds noble story of his life. But it's not just his life, he builds his story around Joan, they are together in his made-up memory and he doesn't want to bite her. He believes himself to have a soul and be on a mission of redemption. 🙁
Then the spell breaks and everyone is faced with the reality of their existance, and it's brutal. Tara and Giles are leaving, one to save themselves the other to save the child they love. Willow sat on that damn bathroom floor just breaks my heart. When Tara reaches out to Dawn and Dawn turns away from her, it just feels so harsh. Everyone is breaking apart. Except Buffy and Spike. She turns away from him and he walks away from her. But they need each other and once again the episode ends on a kiss.
Fantastic episode. The sad is so sad that I have trouble seeing the funny, but I love the heartbreak. It's as though their self-denial and lack of self-knowledge has been made real during the memory loss, and I like how they try to fit themselves back together again. Then when the spell breaks and reality floods in and they can no longer deny what's happening to them, it's just brilliant and emotional. One of the best episodes of the whole show.
